We computer geeks are an interesting bunch. After spending the first 20 years or so of our lives being picked last in gym class and looked down upon by the high school All-Stars of the world, we tend be late bloomers in our post-college years. That’s when all the accumulated nerd knowledge starts to come in handy, we start making our way through the vast and complicated tech industry, and all those ex-prom kings and queens realize the error of their ways and come crawling back looking for the affection that we once sought from them (ok, so maybe that last part is a bit of lingering wishful thinking).

The point is that all those years of missing Spring Break trips in order to hone our coding or engineering skills makes us web geeks a bit like our own exclusive fraternity. We’ve been through the hard times (somewhat) together, and now we’re reaping the rewards and appreciating the work done by other experts in our field to make the web faster and stronger in a way that only we can understand.

And with that in mind, it’s time to start turning on each other.

Starting today, Catchpoint is partnering with the Velocity Conference to launch a competition designed to filter out the geekiest among us, with the goal of making a battle royale in the Roman Colosseum look like a country club garden party. The reward? A trip to the nerdiest web speed event of them all: Velocity Conference Santa Clara.

What makes up the Ultimate Web Speed Geek?

  • Can recite page speed optimizations in their sleep
  • Wrote that go-to web speed checklist you’ve been using
  • Has lost hundreds of hours of sleep responding to alerts and fixing bugs
  • Knows all the latest browser enhancements and protocols
  • Named their first-born ‘Spartan’ in anticipation
  • Has a favorite chart and will defend it to the death
  • Counts in milliseconds

Think you have what it takes?

20 questions about web performance that’ll make even the most seasoned Web Ops and Devs chew their pencils now stand between you and eternal glory as the Ultimate Web Speed Geek (or at least until we re-launch the quiz prior Velocity New York). So have at – may the geekiest one win.

Speed Geek Quiz